Wedding Bloopers

“My dad considers himself quite the orator and was determined to make a speech at my wedding. My wife and I had some reservations; his English is far from perfect and he usually gets into the punch pretty early at these events. We decided not to include any speeches in the program but thought if the mood was right that day, then we might let him speak. The day of the wedding came and dad had his speech written and was ready to go, despite our objections.

We changed our minds at the last moment and decided no harm would come from letting him speak. He looked a little bit flushed but otherwise seemed alright and besides, the crowd loved him. My wife’s family looked slightly befuddled as he strolled up to the front of the room because we had decided no speeches. Dad, fancying himself something of a holy man and the patriarch of the group had decided to put a religious spin on his text. He clunked his glass of wine down on the head table, raised his arms above his head and addressed the crowd; “Attention, sheep of my flack!” The crowd roared and dad just figured they were that moved by his speech.” Dan M.

At her huge Polish and Mexican wedding, Gosia had opted for a dress that made her feel like a princess. The mothers of the bride and groom had worked together to make it. It was covered from bodice to train in intricate beading and made of a beautiful ivory satin. Unfortunately the layers of skirts and the huge train made the dress unbearably hot and way too heavy for her June wedding. She braved the heat through the hour-long Catholic ceremony and the two hours of outdoor picture taking. While the rest of the wedding guests had a couple of hours to refresh themselves before the reception, Gosia and her husband Carlos found themselves rushing around and she was exhausted by the time they finally sat down at the head table. Over the murmur of conversation in the banquet hall there was the sound of a huge RIIPPP and every guest looked up in horror to see Gosia standing with her train in her hands, torn off from her skirt. Gosia simply laughed, “don’t worry, it’s Velcro!” Gosia V

-Eva Jurczyk

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